The Land of Love

by Juliana Mitchell

Ah tackiness, we love it. If it's cheesy and Americana - we're there. And what better place than Caesar's Pocono resorts? They have several but the one we visited is in the Poconos area of Pennsylvania. As you enter cove have you are greeted by a large heart shaped sign proclaiming "you are entering the land of love." Oh yeah.

We chose the top-of-the-line "Champagne glass suite" (although I hear now the have something even more over-the-top which boggles the mind). We were checked in with great expedience, I mean after all most people who visit there just want to "get to it" - ha! The suite was like something out of Liberace's dreams. There is one tiny window to the living area with drawn curtains so that the atmosphere in the room is always night time.

The most striking thing upon entering is the two story champagne glass whirlpool accessible from the up stairs bathroom. There is a small sofa and fireplace and a tiny television. I suppose the thought is that you will not be spending a lot of time in that room. To you left is a glass in heart shaped swimming pool and up a short flight of stairs is the piece de resistance, the bedroom. Decorated in dark reds and blacks the round bed (yes, I said round) is surrounded on all sides by mirrors. To the right of the bedroom is the bathroom with its whirlpool. What a kick! And on the lowest level is a sauna and a massage table where you may request an in room massage. This place is made for sex and lots of it. But if you do venture outside, they have several nightclubs and of all things a squash court!

The food served in the "Diana room" is decent American fare and lots of it (I guess people work up an appetite). The draw back to this restaurant is the communal tables. Call me antisocial, but I really didn't want to sit with a bunch of other people I didn't know. So we asked for a table alone; however, since the facility set up for communal dining, we ended up parked at something worthy of Arthur and his Knights - hardly a romantic candle-lit dinner for two. We are not the kind who go on holiday to hang with other people - generally we just want to be alone, maybe this set up may suit others.

There is plenty to do in The Poconos, boating, canoeing, fishing, golf, and, in the winter, snow skiing. The kitsch alone is enough to recommend the resorts, and if you go for that sort of thing this would be just your cup of tea. We had a blast. Final word of warning, watch the bubble bath in the champagne class tub, too much and you have as bubble disaster on your hands? we found out the hard way!

The Land of Love = the Land of Family Fun

If Vegas can do it, so can Caesar's Poconos Resorts. Do what? Make an essentially grown-up experience more kid friendly. Caesar's, a perennial honeymoon and love-nest destination for the mid-American set, launched Brookdale to convert a vacation spent mostly indoors with you lover to one that is mostly outdoors with your kids.

Brookdale offers tons of activities to entertain the little ones with paddleboats, magic and animal shows, kids menus, a kids club, an indoor pool and over 250 acres of wooded paths and much more. Brookdale is situated on a large private lake and surrounded by panoramic views of the Pennsylvania countryside. On the lake, you can try paddleboats, sailboats and canoes. You can also try fishing, miniature golf or tennis.

One of the best features of the resort is the indoor pool and exercise facility. The pool is large and heated and a treat. Brookdale also has an arcade, indoor miniature golf and, in the winter, an ice rink. The "Applause" theater provides many kid and, at night, grown-up entertainment shows. Our kids particularly liked the magic show and the animal show.

As much fun as Brookdale can be for kids, don't expect luxurious accommodations. We stayed in two separate family rooms: one a simple hotel-like room with a sunken pit for television viewing and one "alpine cabin". Both were passable, but generally musty and crowded. The beds are uncomfortable and the appointments cheap. Also, to buy additional items - such as drinks, snacks, etc. - the resort requires you to put down a deposit to do so - basically you have to pay in advance.

So, "the land of love" becomes "the land of family fun". Unfortunately, since much of the "land of love" is gone, Brookdale's good for the kids, but lacking for the grown ups.