No problem, Mon!
Ciboney Jamaica
Jamaica is one of the most-traveled honeymoon islands in the Caribbean with tons of resorts, from small and intimate to places where the partying goes on ’til dawn. We chose something in between.
Ciboney (now, Sandals Jamaica) is about a forty minute bus ride from the Kingston airport and most airlines will fly direct from major US cities. My favorite airline to fly to the Caribbean is Air Jamaica. Now I know you may be wondering “who the hell is flying those planes?” But have no fear they have partnered with Delta and are extremely professional. And since they know most people are flying to either their honeymoon or anniversary they try to make the flight extra special. All their “lovebird” flights include free beer, wine and champagne (yummy), and they keep you entertained on even the shortest flights with videos, food and fashion shows.
On Arrival, you will be met at the airport and immediately handed a Red Stripe, the beer of Jamaica, then board a large greyhound sized bus for the ride to Ciboney. The roads are good for the most part, and the guides will point out places of interest along the way all the while continuing to ply you with Red Stripe. No worries – there will be a bathroom pit stop!
The resort sits up on a hill with breathtaking views of the Caribbean Sea. You will be ferried up to your villa in a golf cart and a porter will help you settle in. The villa will consist of four units in each building. There is a sitting room with decidedly uncomfortable rattan furniture (I guess they think you won’t spend too much time there) a full kitchen, fridge stocked with beer, wine, rum and juices and a bedroom with lovely louvered windows opening to the sweet smells of bougainvillea bushes. We were given the impression that our villa would also be stocked with snacks but that was unfortunately not the case, and a bit of a let down. There is a television in the sitting area with satellite TV should you want to watch sports or movies.
Behind the villa is a pool you will share with the other rooms in the villa. We lucked out in that there was only one other couple in our unit and they never seemed to use the pool. The resort is not directly on the ocean but they have rights to a beach at another resort just down the hill and a shuttle runs all day. The beach is small and fills up quickly. I found that a bit of a let down. They do have all of the requisite water sports available, wave runners, sailing, water-skiing, parasailing, diving etc. There are many wandering vendors on the beach, and you can get pretty much anything you want from them including the plant Jamaica is so well known for – ahem. The vendors can be quite pushy at times but usually a firm “no thank you” will work.
The resort is all-inclusive so your meals and drinks are covered. There are several restaurants which serve everything from traditional Jamaican fare to continental to burgers. I found the Jamaican patties addictive! Throughout the resort are paths that lead to several communal outdoor Jacuzzis, wonderfully refreshing after a walk.
The main house also has an impressive pool with waterfall and swim-up bar. The grounds are truly gorgeous but marred a bit by chain link fences with barbed wire at the top, giving the resort a bit of an “armed camp” feel. But since crime is a problem in Jamaica, I guess these measures are necessary.
The resort also boasts a spa. I found the spa lacking, the treatments seemed rushed and the spa therapists uninterested. In all I found the staff to be friendly but in a forced sort of way. The hospitality was a bit insincere.
All in all the price is right here, you get a lot for your money, but I had trouble getting over the fact that a lot of the smiling and “no problem mon” veiled a real dislike of visitor. To be fair, this is a very poor island and perhaps the attitude is understandable. There is much to see, from the gorgeous Blue Mountains that produce some of the world’s best coffee, to waterfalls and rivers. You can take jeep tours, horse back ride or just laze around in the sun. If it’s a good deal on luxury you are looking for Ciboney is for you!
A last word of warning: if you choose to indulge in the local “product”, DO NOT, repeat DO NOT, attempt to bring it back with you to the US – there will be dogs at the airport.
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